It fills
my heart with glee to wake up on a Friday morning to see you. It was bad enough before when I would check my list of followers only to see your face (I would say smiling but I can't tell because you're kinda busy). When a person is new to Twitter, seeing the follower numbers do a jump is exciting (okay, it's still exciting), and we just want to see these people who think that we might be interesting enough to follow. We smile at our new found sense of worth until the follower page opens, and there you are, the cigar - smoking femme fatale. It was my daily duty to delete you because once I went a whole three days without looking at the list; I was greeted by a low row of that - nothing anyone wants to see on an empty stomach.Now you have changed your tactic. I open up Tweetdeck and there in my replies column you sit in your full-color glory; worse yet, when that notification box pops up, you're practically eye-level with me. I may never have breakfast sausage again - even the vegetarian kind. I can't get away from you.
What do I want from Twitter? I want a place where I can chat with my friends, enter my contests, listen to my music and live in peace. Dear little bot, I will never click on your link, I don't like your language, and if I want to see a naked star, I'll go to the movies or turn on cable. I hope that Twitter can pull the plug on this little bot and all her little bot buddies.
So little bot, here's a suggestion. Go away. Leave me and my friends alone. Go hassle each other with a little bot on bot action (wouldn't that be a sight). Be fruitful and multiply somewhere else.
On a positive note, I haven't had a corn dog in months.
Hahaha! Great post! Worded so great too!
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